What sci-fi character are you?

Hmmm ... Well, at least I've got the whole elf thing going on ...

Well, crap

Chew this, b**ch!

So, it was extremely foggy here on Tuesday of last week. I felt really bad, because I saw a male yellow Lab trotting down the street in front of my office. No collar, but he seemed sort of interested when I called him - like he was just nervous. A semi-truck on the highway used his jake brake, and the startled dog took off. I called the local police, and they had someone come out and pick him up.

Baby Love and I talked it over, and I spent the next two days on the phone, trying to get someone in Animal Control who could tell me if (A) they had a male yellow lab (B) if he was injured or sick and (C) if I could pick him up on behalf of a local rescue group. Turns out the pound for this small town is actually no-kill. Yeah! Thursday, I get home from work, and I'm telling Baby Love about the all-day search for an Animal Control officer with answers, and she says "Well, I saw a dog with bigger problems." She tells me about a male yellow Lab she saw in the neighborhood on the way home from work. He was skinny and skittish and eating out of a garbage can. I sighed and said "Let's go get him."

We found him a couple of blocks away, head in a neighbor's trashcan. He was so skinny his hip bones protruded, and covered in fleas big enough to see with out moving his fur. Loose skin hung from his belly and tail, and the fur on his rear haunches and tail was thin, and bloody.

We took him home, and put him in our neighbor's yard. He got two baths and a huge bowl of food. Our Labs (George and Sadie) were interested, but they are sort of a self-contained unit. As the temperature started dropping, we moved our Labs inside, closed off the kitchen, and brought him in. Friday morning, we took him to the vet.

Buddy is a six-year old male yellow Lab. He's been neutered and is housebroken. He's good with other dogs, large and small, and cats. He WILL NOT enter a crate. He currently weighs 67 lbs., and our vet estimated he is 20-30 lbs underweight. He has an infection in both ears and in the skin on his haunches and around his tail. He is on oral antibiotics for 2 weeks, and ear medicine for 10 days. He does not have any communicable diseases; however we did not yet have him vaccinated for anything other than rabies. We based the decision on his stress level. The vet flushed his ears, trimmed his nails, gave him a steroid shot and a rabies vac. He got his Advantix treatment and a de-wormer. He has bald spots on his bottom, elbows and knees, where hair will probably not ever grow again. His front teeth, including one canine tooth are worn down to almost nothing. After a thorough exam, the vet surmised he was a puppy when he went into a kennel or crate. The people never bought a bigger one, despite how he continued to grow. Because he was forced to stay in one position for so long, the hair in spots was worn off so often and for so long it will not regrow. He also had YEARS to chew his way out of the kennel. His teeth are damaged from chewing wear. The vet has seen it before.

So, the plan is fatten him up, cheer him up, and find him a good home.

Then, find whoever did this to him. Lock them in the kennel, and say, "Right-o, chew your way out, bitch!" I hate people.

Click your heels together three times, and go fuck yourself

Been working on the dining room. So over that. Here's a tip for all you DIY freaks out there: If your girlfriend is a big poncy fruit, don't think she's going to build shit. Her Royal Highness ain't playing in the sawdust. Do you know how hard it is to get that crap out of your hair and clothes without showering and starting over? And it's incredibly easy to break a nail when using a power nailer. We took George and Sadie to Labapalooza on Saturday. It's a fundraiser for Lab Rescue Oklahoma. They always have a great time. There's this big dog park area with a wading pool, 200 tennis balls and three kids with a tennis racquet. What more could they ask for? Since both Labs are rescues, they don't really understand the whole "retriever" bit. But they'll chase a ball by nelly! And George is seven and a fatty. I realize that's all my fault. ("Does mommy’s boy want a treat? Do you want a treatie?") But, we're working on it. Sadie is a puppy mill escapee. She was a breeder, at least four litters before she was three years old. So, she has a very strong hunting instinct, she just doesn't know what to do with the ball when she gets there. I'm in desperate need of a vacation. A real vacation, not a weekend out of town. Like a week in Margaritaville. I want to start the day with Mimosas and the work my way through fruity tropical drinks to maintain that golden misty haze, curl my toes in the sand and fret over the truly difficult choice of frozen or on the rocks.

Flavor of the Month Club

So, I was going to be a good girl and write all about Baby Love's lasik surgery, and Pookie's new car and my new hair cut and yadda yadda yadda. Instead, here's this

You Are Phish Food Ice Cream

You've been described as gooey and fudgey. Sorry.

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

People Grease and other issues

So, we joined a gym. This is a big step for me. Here's why; I have issues. No kidding, really.

1.) I don't care how clean you think you are, all equipment in a gym is covered in a fine film of people grease.

2.) I hate having people look at me. I'm fat. You're the only one surprised by this. Look away.

3.)I have no filter. Whatever pops into my head comes directly out of my mouth 90% of the time.

All of these are good reasons NOT to join a gym. Fortunately, most of my friends find these quirks either endearing or amusing. The rest of you can bugger off. Anyway, we joined 12-August. We've gone every day but the weekends since then. Dedicated, aren't we?

Here's the point to all this. My ass hurts. And the insides of my thighs. This supposedly means that this exercise thing is working. I think it means I now have an excuse to be crabby. Like PMS wasn't an excuse already, but hey! Who couldn't use an extra excuse every now and then?

Golf lessons start this evening. I like golf. I'm just really really bad at it. So, we're taking lessons to improve our game and give us a hobby. There's a group of us going. We'll see. BabyLove is highly competitive. We no longer bowl in a league because I can't stand to be constantly corrected at an activity I'm doing purely for amusement. My inevitable reply to said correction is "Suck my ass." I said it probably fifty times a night. While this may seem extreme, I remind you that you were not present. I was bowling for fun! Not fabulous prizes! So what if I fling the ball and it bounces??

And let's not even get started on playing darts or pool. My current philosophy is that if we own the equipment, we don't play it for fun. We own several dart sets, therefore we do not play darts for fun. We own pool cues, so we do not go to pool halls with our friends. We own multiple bowling balls, so we no longer bowl for a good time. It has saved our relationship. This golf thing may not be a good hobby after all...

I also taught myself to knit over the weekend. Again, I'm not very good, but it's soothing and I'm working on scarf. Currently, it's 12 inches wide and four inches long. It will get longer.

*-*

Where have I heard that before?

Wow, I'm bad at this

So, been a long time. Yep. Anyhoo... We painted our dinging room. At first it was going to be a gold color with a terracotta Venetian plaster overlay, in a cheaper paint, because Behr is freaking expensive. However, the gold color turned out to be road-stripe yellow when it dried. Not appetizing to say the least. Back to Home Depot to visit Dwight, the paint guy. He tinted it to what we thought was more of a peachy/pumpkin color. We called over Doc and Chaka Khan and had ourselves a little painting party. After it was all done and we finished stuffing ourselves full of pasta with home-made red sauce, we all trooped back into the dining room. The paint had.... okay, have you ever eater the cheap boxed mac'n'cheese, with the powdered sauce packet? My dining room was the color of that powder. We left it for a week or so to see if we adjusted - no. So, back to visit Dwight, where we had a new color mixed up, in Behr paint. Our new color is Beachwalk by Behr. A little bit of advice. Pay the extra for high quality paint. It's worth it. Now my dining room is warm, inviting and cozy. It doesn't look like the tacky monster blew up. We also took a three day weekend with Doc and Chaka Khan, and headed over to Eureka Springs. A fabulous time was had by all, and about a gazillion pictures were taken. I'll be sharing later. We also *gasp* joined a gym. What the hell was I thinking? However, the fact that I'm PAYING for this has motivated me to get my fat ass down there the last 7 days in a row. Feeling quite pleased with that I must say. A co-worker of BabyLove put together a workout schedule for us. He called on the first day to ask how it went. I said "Great! If you'd have been there I'd have slapped you and called you an asshole, so it must be working." Since my attitude has not improved, I'm guessing it's still going well. I guess I'll actually do some work now ...

Tuxie Tummy Tuesday

I've been waiting to post this. It looks cute, doesn't it? Don't you just wanna rub his fuzzy belly? Yeah. I wouldn't. This is my giant cat Cosmo and his flab. Cosmo, who has vicious claws and huge fangs, thinks he's still a little kitten the size of my hand. He doesn't understand "Yow! Freak! What the hell???" He's a sweetie though. He enjoys head-butting arms, tripping passers-by and beating the crap out of the other cats. His favorite toys include a stick he chewed the catnip mouse off off, Miles' tail, and my feet. You can't really get a good perspective from this picture, but Cosmo is HUGE.

Man Cat Monday, or Un Gato Grande

Meet Miles, the 20-pound tabby. Fat Boy here thinks he's a lap cat. BabyLove had him declawed as a kitten, so he regularly gets his butt kicked by my cats, Cosmo and Cleo. This is actually funnier than you think. Cleo weighs eight pounds, and is a quarter of his size. When not flaunting his bodacious flab skirt, Miles enjoys snacking, napping, and attempting to run out into the back yard.

I am so weak ...

I am 92% Addicted to Coffee

Nuff Said

Into each life ...

So, I'm a bad blogger. I've been off gallivanting around while my blog languishes for lack of attention. In all seriousness, we had some major issues there for a while. My 17-year old Lhasa mix, Ruby, went over the Rainbow bridge in March. I spent a loooong Sunday working in the yard, and came in to find one of her rear legs was not working. She's had osteo-arthritis for some time, so we took her to the vet Monday morning. The vet examined her, and said there wasn't really anything they could do, but that we were probably expecting that when we came in. BabyLove nodded sadly, "yes." I grabbed my dog and huddled in the corner crying, "No! I'm here for the magic pill! You've always had the magic pill before!" The vet's eyes got really wide and she backed away slowly. I cried a lot, and sat on the floor and held her while they gave her the shots. I wasn't motivated much after that. I spent a lot of time holding various and long-suffering cats and a large yellow Labrador and crying. Only while BabyLove wasn't looking, of course. Then, we adopted a 3-year-old female yellow Lab in late April. She managed to eat three pairs of flip-flops, one brand new pair of New Balance running shoes and a window screen. She has jumped out the front windows (they were open), the back windows (they were closed), and over our back fence. She has a VERY strong hunting instinct. Walks are a series of jolts from one small fur-bearing animal to the next. Squirrel! Chipmunk! Bird! Duck! Neighbors ratty Chihuahua! So, now I’m determined to pay more attention to this blog and all that it entails. And, not that I expect anyone to notice, but two things are now on the “completed” list to the right …

Productivity ... or the lack thereof

I'm not feeling very productive today. The bath tub backed up - again - and this time I broke down and called the plumber. For all of you in Northeastern Oklahoma, I highly recommend Williams Plumbing. Very nice people. And they don't complain when you call them freaking out because the tub is full of water and not draining and now the toilet won't flush. I actually went to Home Depot and bought drain cleaner before I called Williams, but two bouts of drain cleaner hadn't cleared the line by yesterday morning. I've only got one bathroom and I had to go, damnit! So it was money well spent. I also learned that they immortal crepe myrtle is not the root system growing into the line; it is the thirty-foot tall hackberry tree in the middle of my backyard. The freaking tree is three feet in diameter at the ground. No kidding. I have no idea how to solve this problem. Tomorrow is set aside for yard cleanup and flowerbed creation. It's 70 degrees here on a regular basis, and I still can't bring myself to plant bulbs. I know, as soon as those peonies and phlox are in the ground, BAM. Another freeze. How depressing. All that dirt and nothing to plant. And, work has ground to a shuddering halt in my dining room. There is approximately 10 linear feet of mud and tape left, but Baby love had surgery last month and therefore cannot sand. For those who are wondering, I don't sand. I hang drywall and mud and tape. Sanding is for those who do not hang drywall and mud and tape. So, we may have a dining room by Independence Day.

Procrastination

So, I'm actually really bad about follow through. And I have a tendency to put things off indefinitely.

However, I am now taking responsibility for my own life. I'm taking charge, making my own decisions and getting my poop in a group. No more letting other people run my life for me. No longer will I opt out of making choices and there by allow opportunity to pass me by. No no, now it really is all about me.

The first step towards this new and improved me is this blog. It is here that you lucky readers will help encourage or deride me. Here I will record my accomplishments and failures as I strive to reach my goals. This is the beginning of a whole new era ... The Lunar Frenzy. Right after this short break.