Click your heels together three times, and go fuck yourself

Been working on the dining room. So over that. Here's a tip for all you DIY freaks out there: If your girlfriend is a big poncy fruit, don't think she's going to build shit. Her Royal Highness ain't playing in the sawdust. Do you know how hard it is to get that crap out of your hair and clothes without showering and starting over? And it's incredibly easy to break a nail when using a power nailer. We took George and Sadie to Labapalooza on Saturday. It's a fundraiser for Lab Rescue Oklahoma. They always have a great time. There's this big dog park area with a wading pool, 200 tennis balls and three kids with a tennis racquet. What more could they ask for? Since both Labs are rescues, they don't really understand the whole "retriever" bit. But they'll chase a ball by nelly! And George is seven and a fatty. I realize that's all my fault. ("Does mommy’s boy want a treat? Do you want a treatie?") But, we're working on it. Sadie is a puppy mill escapee. She was a breeder, at least four litters before she was three years old. So, she has a very strong hunting instinct, she just doesn't know what to do with the ball when she gets there. I'm in desperate need of a vacation. A real vacation, not a weekend out of town. Like a week in Margaritaville. I want to start the day with Mimosas and the work my way through fruity tropical drinks to maintain that golden misty haze, curl my toes in the sand and fret over the truly difficult choice of frozen or on the rocks.